Series of Stories
by Valanth
Summary: Random stories/oneshots based of Inuyasha, Naruto and Crossovers between the two. rated M for safety, mainly language and implications... or lemons.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

ONESHOT HUMOR.

Warning-content may be potentially traumatizing

Itachis Gentjutsu:

Naruto was running along the trees, ahead of his little group sent by the hokage to help rescue Gaara from the akatsuki.

Behind naruto was Kakashi, Chiu, Sakura and Yamato. Sakura yelled at naruto "can you slow down!" when kakashi put his hand in front of sakura from trying to catch up to naruto.

Kakashi shook his head "no sakura, let him be" while chiu looked on "what is it about him that makes him so concerned about gaara?" she said in her elderly voice.

Yamato looked at kakashi to answer her question. Kakashi looked up at naruto with an unknown emotion in his eye "naruto is also a jinchuuriki. No one can understand a jinchuuriki but another jinchuuriki." He said quietly.

Chiu looked at naruto surprised "but gaara is our kazekage. He shouldn't take it so personally" "you see lady chiu, naruto understands the pain gaara has been through. It hit him hard when he found out gaara was the kazekage." Yamato nodded and added "naruto cares for gaara greatly"

After that the group lapsed into silence as kakashi looked up with a critical eye "someones ahead" making everyone in the group gasp and try to hurry ahead. Kakashi was close enough to naruto so he tried to take narutos shoulder to stop him.

They broke through the tree line and landed on the edge of the forest.

Kakashi stared in horror as naruto was faced with itachi.

Naruto was glaring "itachi uchiha!" while sakura looked surpised 'so that's itachi, the one I want to protect naruto and sasuke from'

Itachi let out a menacing chuckle as he put the group into a genjutsu quickly before they can react.

Sakura, kakashi, naruto, yamato and chiu were standing on a beach as itachi looked on.

They looked at the horror before them.

Might Guy was in a pink spandex suit with makeup on his face. His lips were red and huge, he had on heavy blue eye shadow and everyone cringed at the long eye lashes with gold tips.

There was a portable stereo a little ways off and might guy was dancing to the song. Singing along to "Barbie girl" as he swung his hips around. He was using an awful girly voice that didn't do a thing to mask his naturally masculine voice.

Everyone stared in horror as chiu the elderly held her hands to her chest, clutching her heart.

Everyone was frozen with a look of horror on their face at might guy.

"im a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world!" might guy put his hands up his sides "wrapped in plastic!" he threw up his arms as he grinned "its fantastic!"

Naruto was clutching his eyes "oh god! My eyes!" as sakura put her hands to her ears going into a fetal position "please make it stop!"

Kakashi put his hands to his ears "I think my ears are bleeding" yamato was doubled down in laughter.

Rock Lee can running along in hideous green speedos and joined guy in his dancing.

Upon seeing the mini me version of might guy yamatos jaws dropped and he gasped in horror just like everyone else.

Chius heart couldn't take it anymore.

They were all taken out of the genjutsu as chiu suffered a heart attack.

Itachi was laughing maliciously at the look of sheer terror on everyones face.

Itachi has effectively traumatized them all.

.:.:.:.:.

Working but I cant really concentrate when im thinking of this. Please don't blame me for your nightmares


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

If gaara were a girl:

Gaara has lived her life hated by her village. Shes spent her time alone, with only mother there to comfort her.

Her isolation has started when his uncle attacked him all those years ago, she found out during that attack that her mother never loved her.

Her mother hated her village.

Her mother died cursing the world and happy that this little monster of hers was free to rampage as she saw fit.

First gaara was horrified to see how people looked at her, calling him a demon. A monster. Telling her she was not wanted anywhere, that she would be forever miserable

Mother protected her through the sand. If gaara concentrated, she can use the whole desert sand. At a great price on her chakra though, so she spend hours training when the people of the village told her to get lost.

She first stole scrolls from her fathers private library on chakra control and jutsus.

Of course she used her sand, it's a great weapon and if you can manipulate it into objects. That makes it better, her ultimate defense.

First she had to learn tree climbing and it took the better part of a few hours. 5 to be exact. Not to brag of course.

After the 5 hours she was tired and hungry from using up her chakra so she made her way home, once she got there, kankuru and tamari stopped their conversation in the living room and watched her with barely concealed fear.

Gaara just went to the kitchen and took out some ingrediants, cutting up the fish and washing the rice. Cutting up veggies and preparing a batch of dumplings.

Now you see, her siblings may fear her. But since everyone despised her and no one would cook for her, she cooks for herself. One time she found that her siblings would steal some food she set aside for later. So now she always prepares extra for them knowing they trust her cooking enough to eat it. Of course they are able to see her cook from the living room- that helps a lot.

She set the rice to cook and prepared the sushi before putting some in three bentos than placed some on a plate. She put extra rice in a bowl and put veggies and cooked meat over it before working on sauce for the dumplings, once she set it aside to cool she worked on the batch and made a ton.

She took her sushi, rice and dumplings to the table while tamari and kankuru went back to their conversation in the livingroom-even though they are okay with eating the food she prepares. They are not yet okay with eating with her….

She wished she had a different life, that she wasn't the jinchuuriki for the shukaku no ichibi. But she was unfortunate enough to be a failed experiment of her fathers. She envied her siblings for being normal.

Suddenly she snorted on her tea, normal…. It was such an insult

Once she finished up she washed the dishes and took her bento before heading out, the guard on her back rocking against her soothingly. She hummed as she made her way to the place she dubbed 'her training grounds' it was a ruins from one of her shukaku rampages. The village never bothered to repair it since it is soo far out of the village, hardly even considered part of it anymore!

Due to the risk of the area, no one bothers going there. Not even chuunin, but for gaara. It's a safe haven.

She took out the scrolls and read up on more chakra control techniques. Next was water walking, gaara shuddered. Water-ech.

She blinked down at herself than removed her gorde and clothes, being down to her bindinds, underwear and mesh.

She put up a sand dome over herself. Making it thin enough to allow light to penetrate-it didn't serve as a defense this time. It served to keep her privacy.

She concentrated chakra to the balls of her feet like she did on the tree climbing excersice before stepping over the water. She walked out a couple steps…. Teetered than got her balance back. with a sigh of relief. She fell in

With a growl she surfaced than tried again. And again. And again.

She worked on it all night, stopped to eat her bento than went back to it.

Since she didn't get any sleep due to the shukaku. She had all night and day to practice.

A couple hours into the second day of practicing she finally got it!

She was finally balanced over the water!

With a grin she jumped and ran across the water… while she was running, of course she tripped…

She looked around and remembered her sand dome, she sighed in relief than got up and walked over to her belongings and putting her clothes on.

She strapped the gorde to her back having missed the weight of it she let the sand dome drop and watched as it went into her gorde, the plug was put in place as a sign that she is not an active weapon.

She went over to the scrolls and took out the chakra paper.

Of course she was earth style. Like HOW CAN THAT NOT BE ANY MORE OBVIOUS- THANK YOU SO MUCH PIECE OF PAPER.

She scowled at the paper and concentrated again and was surprised to see the paper crumble up before getting damp.

Well, it seems the weapon of suna has three chakra natures! Whoop de fucking do. Lets not let anyone know about that, I rather not be taken advantage of more than I already have due to the shukaku I am currently housing.

She started to work on her chakra natures with the scrolls shes stolen from her father- being child of the kazekage has its advantages.

While she was mastering her chakra elements she was sent on various missions, mother of course always protects her. So even if its an A-rank mission, a B-rank mission or even that S-rank mission to kill S-ranked ninja and bring back forbidden scroll it is said they had in their position.

She. Never. Bleed.

Until she got her period of course.

One morning she woke up to blood on her sheets and promptly screamed!

Mother was supposed to protect her! Shes bleeding!

She was shaking in horror at the sight of her own blood. Until kankuru snorted and tamari was laughing.

She was given the talk by tamari, and that day forth her and her siblings got closer. I guess all it took was seeing me with terror and my face and seeing that. OH I DON'T KNOW, IM A FUCKING HUMAN LIKE THEM!

It was… concerning to learn that I bled once a month…. Though it effectively allowed me to get over my fear of that stuff.

.:.:.:.:.

You know, ive never seen any writers trying to take there hand at making gaara into a girl, like aren't you curious about what he would be like? Don't you have your own version of your fav characters and other characters in different genders?


	3. Cycle

Disclaimer: I don't own.

Its dark,  
And im scared.  
As I sit in my room,  
The night is soo long.  
And I want it to go,  
I just have to remember,  
That youll be there soon.  
I wake up in a cold sweat.

It was that same dream again, always the same thing…

In the dream, im always alone in a room. Its dark, but im not afraid, it always seems like im waiting for someone. Someone I trust and feel safe with, maybe that's why im not afraid, I know that that person will show up.

Its always usually very vague, but when im waiting, its like im remembering flashes of long, spikey hair, pale skin and black eyes.

Sometimes when he looks at people, they only see darkness. No traces of light, laughter or happiness. He may be cruel, but when his with me, I get the chance to look past all that to the kind heart he has. It shines in his smile, shows in his laughter and evident in the way he is kind and gentle.

When I wait, sometimes im scared. Theres no one around, its dark and lonely. I don't know how long ive been waiting, or how much longer I will wait.

Most times I cant see a thing, other times I wish I couldn't see a thing. The times that I can see, is on a barren land. Theres nothing for miles around.

despite there being no clouds in sight and despite the fact that the sun is shining. It is a very dark place.

Usually in this barren place, there is no sound but the howling wind. When there is something else, it is usually the sound of a blaring horn or trumpet.

The sound brings with it, a kind of dread. That you can see down to your very bones, with it, is a great fear. An all consuming fear, for what? I don't know, but that's what makes it worse.

It feels like hours that the horn started, it feels like my ears are bleeding. But I cant move to check if it is.

It hurts too much to move.

The fear paralyzes me.

Something bad is going to happen.

But that sound never stops.

When I finally give up, I let myself fall to my knees, the sharp rocks cut me. But I can no longer feel it.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up at the bright blue sky, I have to squint to see his lips moving. It takes a while, but I am able to understand what e is saying.

"we have to get out of here"

I can tell that he is also in pain.

The horns that batters at your very soul.

Even he is affected by it.

The sound is getting worse, I feel like im dying. He can see the pain im in, ive been there too long.

I cant move, he can see that. The sound shifts, it feels like something is going for us, I cant move. Its getting close, he takes my hand and helps me up before running the other way, he drags me along with him.

Its hard to run, it hurts to move. I feel like I cant keep going, but seeing the fear in his dark eyes pushes me forward.

Im not the only whos afraid.

Theres no time to wonder about what is going to happen, its getting close.

I cant keep moving anymore.

In exhaustion, I collapse.

He moves forward to help me up, so that we can keep moving.

I know that its there already.

With the last of my strength, I push him away. The look on his face when im swallowed up.

Than theres only darkness.

Im alone again.

I can hear screaming, I wish I can tell that person to stop. But I cant breath.

Theres nothing to do but wait,

I wait for him in the dark.

I don't know how much time passes, but theres light again.

Looking up at the glaring sun again, I see him.

He holds out a hand to me and I take it. Looking around were in a grassy field with a dark forest behind us.

Far away, you can see the mountains with clouds covering the top from view.

Theres a gentle blowing wind, the birds are singing and the place feels clean and pure.

"whats wrong?" he asks in his deep voice.

"I could have sworn we were some where else…" not knowing how to explain it, I trail off.

His eyes darken, in the back of my mind I can hear the faint sound of horns…

Suddenly I feel his arms around me. I try to look up to see whats wrong.

"shh, don't think about it." He says as he puts his hand on my head so im resting against his chest.

I can still hear it.

Looking up, I can see that he can hear it too, his looking off into the distance.

I follow his gaze, expecting to see the forest. But in its place, is a barren land.

It felt like a lot of time passed in a couple seconds, but I look up at him and I don't care.

His laughing and telling me something.

"whats on your mind?" he asks with a smile, to which I just shake my head and lean against him.

"im just happy being here."

I was happy to live a doomed existence in an endless cycle.

So long as he was there by my side.

 _A story in which, a never ending cycle is set into motion over and over._

 _Originally I wrote this in mind of kagome being trapped in the shikon no tama and the man she is waiting for is Madara. But perceive it as you will._


	4. Catching Flies

Kakashi bit his thumb, formed hand signs and placed his palm on the ground "summoning jutsu!"

There was a puff of smoke as a pug with a hiate-ate tied around his head was were kakashis hand used to be.

The pug held up his furry paw and said "Hi"

Kagomes mouth dropped and she screamed "it talks!"

Kakashi sweat dropped "close your mouth kagome, youll catch flies."

Just than, a grasshopper jumped into her mouth.

"its not exactly a fly, but it will do" kakashi said when he slumped over and sweat dropped again with his eyes closed.

Kagome was on her knees holding her throat choking on the grasshopper.

She gasped out "you planned this didn't you!"

Kakashi waved his hands in front of himself and said nervously "my kagome, you seriously think im capable of such a thing?"

Kagome gagged and spit out the grasshopper as it hit kakashi in the face.

"yes" kagome said with a dark look towards kakashi.

She watched mildly amused as kakashi ran around trying to get the wet grasshopper off his face. Its not the revenge she wants but it will do.


	5. A different Picture

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or naruto

Naruto and sakura were looking for kakashi, he was supposed to meet them at training ground 7 six hours ago. But he didn't show up, after the fourth hour, sakura and Naruto started to get worried.

Which is why they went over to the compound hoping to talk to kagome about where kakashi might be. If anyone knew where he would be, it would be her.

Outside kagomes door they paused when they heard something in the room. Naruto and sakura put their ears to the door.

They heard moaning and "ah, kakashi, cant you be… a little more gentler?" that was kagome….

"sorry love, this is my first time…" that was kakashi

Naruto looked over at sakura with a shocked look and they continued to listen.

"you don't need to go soo deep kakashi."

"but kagome, doesn't it feel good?"

Sakura put her hands against her mouth supressing a scream as she fainted.

With no thought Naruto charged in and he stood in middle of the room, beet red with his eyes closed.

On the bed kagome and kakashi looked over at Naruto.

"just what the heck are you guys doing!?" Naruto screamed blushing furiously.

After Naruto didn't hear anything from kakashi and kagome, he opened his eyes expecting to see something completely different from what was going on.

There on the bed, kagome had on her standard black pants and ninja sandals, she didn't have a shirt on and there were chest bindings.

Kakashi was sitting behind her holding a bandage to a wound on her shoulder.

Naruto blinked "hey! This isn't what i thought was going on at all! Its all wrong! I wanted a different picture!" Naruto was screaming still blushing furiously.

Kakashi sweat dropped and dug his fingers into kagomes wound again, making her moan again as she winced.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" kakashi said looking Naruto up and down.

Naruto laughed nervously "you didn't show up for training, me and sakura got worried and came here looking for you…" Naruto trailed off as he scratched his head looking up at the ceiling still blushing.

"wait… did you seriously think that me and kakashi?" kagome said, than looked at his blushing face than over at kakashi and laughed, causing her shoulder to jerk and she winced again.


End file.
